I think it's about time I write Curren's birth story...I find myself forgetting some of the details here and there and I need to write it all down before I leave any of it out! So here goes...
It was a Monday evening, President's Day, actually...and Jason and I had just settled in to watch "Killing Lincoln" a documentary about the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln. We were joking about how cute we were being with the lights dimmed, the dogs up on the couch with us, all snuggled up in blankets. At right about 7:45 pm I felt a GUSH of fluid "down there."
I looked at Jason and said "My water just broke." I can only imagine the look on my own face but Jason's face was probably the most surprised I'd ever seen it! You see, Curren wasn't due for another two and a half weeks! Were we ready for this? Jason hadn't flushed the water heater yet and he didn't have a hose for filling the tub...but other than that...YES! WE WERE READY! I couldn't wait to get this guy out of me! I mean, I had a perfect pregnancy...but I didn't enjoy being pregnant. I wish I could have loved it - but I didn't. Anyway, I digress. Ok. I had just been grocery shopping the day prior so we had groceries, we had finished our Bradley course, I had read my share of inspirational home birth stories, and I had watched a sufficient amount of water births on YouTube. I'd been doing all of my stretches and had all of my supplies ready for the midwife.
Luckily my mucous plug had fallen out the week prior which prompted me to stop over at the midwife's office to pick up the tub...just in case. :)
So with my adrenaline pumping in excitement I call Michelle - our amazing midwife - to tell her that my water had just broken. She said "Great! Well it sounds like you're baby is coming!" AAAAA!!!! Jason and I were so excited...and nervous...and anxious...we've been waiting SO long to meet our little man and, as you know, I was really done with being pregnant. Michelle asked that I calm down...and try and go to bed. Yeah right! But seriously...she said the adrenaline could slow things down and make it harder for labor to do its thing...so she said to have a glass of wine, mellow out, and go to bed. Wine? Ok...I can do that.
Jason left the house to go purchase the hose we needed to fill up the tub and I started drinking. :) At our baby shower all of my friends and family wrote words of love and encouragement on little cards so the first thing I did (after pouring myself a glass of wine) was pull those out, reading each one as I hung them on the little tree branch that Eileen made for us. That was so special. I really do have amazing friends and family.
Jason returned home and started getting the tub ready. Who knows what that entailed...I had my own work to do. I made my way to bed and although I was trying to relax, I was still texting my friends and family letting them know what was going on and I texted my boss to let him know I wouldn't be in the following day...(OR EVER AGAIN!)
At about 9:00pm I started noticing a some rhythmic cramping...the contractions had begun. I texted Jason from the bedroom (he was in the garage flushing the water heater) "I'm having contractions." He came into the bedroom right away to check on me and we snuggled for a bit. I love him so much...
I decided to use our contraction timing app (free from the App Store) to time my contractions and they were pretty far apart and not really that uncomfortable. So I turned on my Pandora Meditation Radio station and decided to meditate and hoped to fall asleep. I don't remember anything else from that point on until about 2:00am...so I was either asleep or in deep meditation. At about this time, though, I woke to some pretty strong contractions. So I started timing them...they were about four minutes apart, lasting for about 30 to 45 seconds...and they were crampy!
Jason had closed the door to the bedroom but I could hear a bit of chaos going on in the dining room (where the tub was being set up). Oh dear... Jason was STRESSING OUT! Apparently, the hose bib on the water heater broke and was flooding the garage. Jason was running back and forth from the garage to the tub doing something (I have no idea what that all entailed) and I was in need of my coach. So I begged Jason to please come and be with me for my contractions...and he really honestly wanted to be with me...but the tub...the tub needed to be ready when I was ready for the tub... So at about 2:30, I called Michelle and told her that Jason was having a melt-down and I was alone and having some really strong contractions. She suggested I call Rachel (my friend, neighbor and amazing Bradley teacher) and see if she could come over and spend some time with me while Jason figured out the tub. She also spoke to Jason about the tub situation (like I said - I have no idea what that all entailed)...
So I called Rachel. No answer (no figure - it's 2:30am). I text. No reply. And by this time I've timed a few contractions that were a minute long and three minutes apart...and they were intense...so I tell Jason to call Michelle and ask her to come.
Meanwhile, I started vomiting during contractions because the pain was so great. I asked Jason to get me a bowl as I lay in bed retching but it was too late. I puked in my hair. Luckily we had plastic underneath the sheets for just this occasion!
Michelle arrived at about 10 minutes after Jason called her (about 3:30). I was so relieved! And at this point, Jason had the tub full and warm and ready!!! Yeay!!! Can I get in it yet? PLEASE??? Michelle said she wanted to check my progress before I got in because if I weren't far enough along the tub could slow things down. She asked me if I wanted to know how much I had dilated but I said "No." I didn't want to know...what if I was only 3 cm? So she told Jason - and he later told me that she told him I was 6 cm. All I cared about was whether or not I could get in the tub....and thankfully, I was given the green light!
Have you ever heard that a warm tub is nature's epidural? Well, trust me...IT IS! It felt SOOO GOOD to get into the nice warm tub and have a warm and weightless place to labor. And that's what I did. My contractions were strong, my moans were loud, and the sun was starting to rise. Forget that I couldn't eat anything and was vomiting pretty regularly...and focus on the beauty of what was happening. My son, a precious human being, that my husband and I consciously created from nothing, was working with me in rhythm to come out and be a presence in our lives. It was really hard to think about how beautiful everything was. I was so in my own world. But looking back today I get so emotional about it...and I feel so proud of what my body and mind was able to do.
At about 6am I started feeling a change in my contractions. They started feeling "pushy"...and my moans turned into moans followed by grunts. Michelle asked if things were feeling different and I nodded my head (because that's all I could do at this point). I have to say...although my contractions were crazy intense, my breaks were glorious and I was so grateful for each of them. They weren't breaks that entailed conversation or eating but they were moments of rest that my body really needed. They were opportunities to gear up for the next one and at each break I knew I was one step closer to meeting my son.
At this point Michelle called her assistant Kaydee to come on over and get ready for delivery. Kaydee arrived shortly thereafter and I was really getting into some serious pushing. And I pushed...and puked...and pushed...and puked...and probably a couple hours later, Michelle thought it would be a good idea to get out of the tub and try some other positions to get the baby moving. We moved to the bedroom where Jason sat up against the headboard and I sat between his legs - using his legs as my resistance and support. Michelle checked me again and said it felt like Curren's head was lodged in a weird position right at my tailbone and that was probably slowing us down. It was time to make some adjustments. So for my next contractions I had to push on my back with my knees at my ears. Then on my side with my right knee up. Then on my other side with my left knee up. At this point...I'm EFFING exhausted. I'm asking for drugs. Yep. I asked for the pain to be taken away. I really didn't feel like I could do it anymore. I was ready to give up...Michelle told me to change my self talk. "Tell yourself you can do this!" Okay YES! I can do this! Kaydee gave me some oxygen but the mask just felt claustrophobic so I kept pulling it off my face. Curren still hadn't moved after all of that work! So we collectively decided to get up and go to the shower. I stood in the shower and have a contraction with one leg up on the bathtub. Then the next one I squatted. The shower felt good but my legs were like Jell-O and I couldn't stand up anymore. Kaydee suggested that I sit on the toilet and lift one leg up for my next contraction. So I did. She asked if she could coach me through my next one. I said yes. So when I started to feel it she tells me to take a deep breath and push as hard as I can like I'm having a bowel movement and hold the push for as long as I can and as hard as I can. Then when I have to breathe, she says to take a quick deep breath and push again for as long as I can, as hard as I can...and to repeat this for the duration of the contraction. I was getting about two good pushes and one weak one at the end...I just didn't have any more energy after the first two. I remember shouting "I feel like my asshole is going to fall out!" It worked, though!
All of a sudden Kaydee asks Jason if he wants to see his baby's head. He said yes and as soon as he looks down there his eyes welled up with tears. He is about to meet his son. That was a seriously emotional moment. And it was what made the most difficult part of my labor the most beautiful.
At this point I told Michelle that I didn't want to have my baby on the toilet. Can you imagine? No way. She said if I wanted a water birth it was time to move it to the tub! So with Kaydee on one side and Jason on the other I walked (waddled) from the bathroom to the dining room with my baby's head crowning. It was pretty hard stepping up over the tub's edge but once I was in I had that instant pain relief again. Ahhhhh...
THEN came the ring of fire! That piercing, stinging feeling of your skin stretching to make way for the head. YIKES! That hurt. Kaydee held compression down there to help avoid any tearing and at the same time she coached me through each contraction...deep breath, push hard, and when I felt the ring of fire I had to do quick breaths and try and slow the movement so that I could try and avoid tearing. Before I knew it, his head was out! What time is it? Who knows? I honestly thought it had to be about 4pm the following afternoon. I had no concept of time. And I kept laboring until the rest of his body was out...and after 15 hours of labor, at 10:45am, I leaned back and put my son on my chest. Holy moly...what a moment. Hard to describe - and it was quickly cut short when he wouldn't breathe right away. My umbilical cord was pretty short so she couldn't work on him in the tub and had to cut the cord right away (sorry Dad) and get him out of the tub to clear his airways so that he could start to breathe for the first time.
Michelle and Kaydee stayed so calm and I think that helped Jason and I stay calm...our son wasn't breathing. It took over a minute to get one breath. And it was only one breath. Michelle and Kaydee continued working on him (they even had to shoo our curious Mr. Bojangles away as he wanted to smell what just came out of the tub - haha!). Michelle told Jason and I to continue talking to Curren. We gave him major words of encouragement... "Mommy's right here Curren - it's time to be with me...you can do it baby! Let's go Curren!" Jason was saying the same things...it was crazy. His color looked great and his heart rate was perfect so Michelle wasn't stressed but still...in all of my research prior to having him I had never heard of this happening. Why wouldn't he breathe?
Michelle asked Kaydee to get me out of the tub because they couldn't tell how much I was bleeding at this point. The tub water was now a dark red color. So I got out and laid back on a bed made of blankets and a chair turned upside down and waited for my baby to be in my arms while Kaydee checked my bleeding. Four whole minutes went by and finally, Curren was breathing. He was awake. He was perfect. And I was more alive than I have ever been. The rush of oxytocin was amazing!
My placenta, which I had encapsulated, didn't want to come out, so after a tiny shot of Pitocin, I had two contractions and finally, my work was done. Or had it just begun? Yeah...for sure! Michelle and Kaydee stayed for about three hours after the birth to do all of the things they do so well. Michelle checked for any tears...no tears! :) They got us all fed snuggled up in bed, cleaned up, took all of Curren's stats and helped us with initial breastfeeding, and made us feel proud and competent.
After they left, Jason and I snuggled in bed, skin to skin, with our perfect little 7 lb. 1 oz. boy...Curren Luke Fichtelberg.
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